Detention: The crazy indie movie that should have been a web series

We had high-pitched hopes for Joseph Kahn ’s high-pitched schooltime horror movie Detention . And while we really make out each case-by-case prospect on its own , the plot as a whole was recede amongst the din of caterwauling teens shrieking about the 90s .

Spoilers below …

If there was an meth debauchery and every single Youtube TV , music video , high-pitched school day flick , slasher movie , and the cast of characters of Dawson ’s Creek were pile on top of each other in a great pop - culture bacchanalia , Detention would be the resulting lovemaking child . Everything you ’ve ever loved , or latterly been entertained by on the internet , is in this movie .

eldritch scifi Cronenberg - esque eccentric origin tale ? Detention ’s get ’em . Breakfast Club computer address ? Yep . school text jokes ? Check . ninety garb , time travel , misunderstood nerds , terrorists attack , jilted metre traveler , Freaky Friday tide rip - offs , word bubble , a movie - within - a - movie - within - a - movie storytelling , Star Trek gag , servicey Ferris Bueller manner presentation , ego referential flower people , skateboard date , cheerleader ? It ’s all in there . Just say the first thing that springs to your mind . “ A time traveling bear who was abducted by aliens ? ” Yep , that ’s in there too .

The story is about a teenage honey trilateral , sort of . Homely school mascot Riley Jones ( Shanley Caswell ) is in love with “ cool kid ” Clapton Davis ( Josh Hutcherson ) . This seemingly unreciprocated love is put even further to the test when Riley ’s good admirer and head cheerleader Ione ( Spencer Locke ) bulge date Clapton . And then the plot gets complicated , and every bit as oversaturated as all of the previous listed off references .

In fact you could say that that plot does n’t really matter in Detention — each scene seems like an excuse to get to the next over - the - top modern chronological succession that the veteran euphony video conductor has daydream up .

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlRrrg2NNHE

So , does it ferment ? Yes and no . To be fair , each slight moment was astoundingly clever and highly entertaining . On its own . But after about 15 minute of the promontory cheerleader make Bronson Pinchot references ( complete with foreign , and inaccurate , schoolbook bubbles excuse what Perfect Strangers is ) we ’d had enough . We require to rewind the whole showing and start over ( especially since most of the school text - on - screen jokes whizzed by entirely too dissipated for us to read ) . But at the same clip , we wanted to watch it again . As a movie , it ’s a topsy-turvy quite a little , but every three - moment skit in Detention is quite brilliant .

Who does n’t want to watch a shortsighted photographic film about the schooling bully ’s secret battle , growing up with alien - infuse fly blood ? Even though you never really get to know any of these role , they ’re still entertaining , and they explode with short bursts of hilarity . When you may watch about five minutes of the dialogue , it ’s spot on . We near lose it when the Queen Bitch siss at her comrade that he was an ecstasy baby ! What happened next ? No estimate , because we laughed for 3 seconds — and in that pair of clip 7,000 other affair encounter .

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Plus the movie itself is slick . Kahn has a expectant eye and knows how to pull together 3 aphrodisiacal minutes of film , thanks to his years of pass water TV for Britney and Eminem and Lady Gaga . So while the plot of Detention unravels at its over - stuffed seams , at least it ’s gorgeous to look at .

This is why we ’ve occur to the conclusion that we ’d rather learn Detention in achievable five - minute of arc chunks . Kahn does n’t particularly care so much about the plot that you could n’t take a hebdomad - foresighted fracture in between watching segments of Detention . The plastic film would still calculate gorgeous and hold back the laughs if it was broken down into a web serial . In fact , it might in reality save some viewers from fatigue , due to the harebrained pacing .

There is a very real chance that Detention could become the Donnie Darko of the Millennial Generation . But we ’re still not sure how anyone under 22 is going to get all of the Ralph Macchio gag , and how someone over 22 is going to keep up with this pace . You ’re either going to love Detention , or detest it . It has a flock of shine moments , including envision out how to make Dane Cook funny again . Hopefully they wo n’t get lose in Kahn ’s path - too - frenetic tempo .

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