If you ’re the sort of individual who snort pigment and gives yourself mild concussion for fun , then you ’ll enjoy the heck out of Hitman : Agent 47 , in dramaturgy today . really , anybody who enjoys incredibly dumb movies will get a rush out of this cinematic gem .

Some spoilers in front …

Hitman : Agent 47 is the late in a foresighted business line of video game movie that apparently believe that gamers do n’t in particular worry about story , character , floor or legal action . It ’s probably better than Doom but not in the same league as most of Paul W.S. Anderson ’s plastic film . It ’s based on the Hitman biz series , which already spawn one previous film ( but this is n’t a sequel or anything , just a standalone . )

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broker 47 is the sort of film that starts with a prolonged voice - over , explaining the plot and moderately much everything else . Turns out that during the Cold War , a mad scientist figured out how to create genetically - engineer superintendent - assassins , called Agents . And then the programme was ended — but a mathematical group of bad hombre , called the Syndicate , need to start it up again and create a whole United States Army of super - killers .

So the Syndicate wants to find the elderly scientist who knows the secret of making Agents , but one of the last surviving Agents — Agent 47 — is determined to cease them . The only one who can incur the onetime scientist is his daughter , Katia van Dees ( Hannah Ware ) , so both the Syndicate intelligence agent John Smith ( Zachary Quinto ) and Agent 47 ( Rupert Friend ) require to get hold of her .

So it ’s a following movie , sort of . But also , Katia has a enigma of her own , which is hinted at ahead of time on when we see her have weird quasi - psychic flashing that handily warn her about danger . ( At one point , there ’s a scene where she walk through an airport , avoid security cameras , which goes on for about ten minutes . )

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The principal heart of the film is Rupert Friend ’s somewhat earth - weary performance as a slayer who has been engineered not to have human kindness or other worked up weaknesses . agentive role 47 is a somewhat affectless badass , who ’s at his best wiping the story with disposable bad guys , but Friend manages to give him a certain smirky warmth , on which he hangs the fictional character ’s reed - thin development throughout the pic . Any player can make for life to a well - publish character , but Friend deal to take a entire cipher and make him sort of likeable .

That tell , the real playfulness of check Hitman : Agent 47 is to play along the random plot - hammering . This is the kind of movie where a guy ties a girl up in front of a jet locomotive that ’s power up , just for the crazy heck of it . It ’s the sort of movie where plot development are laboriously telegraphed , only to arrive with a thud . There are “ plot twists ” in this motion picture that feel like the fictional character just had a notion , or maybe a psychotic respite .

This is also the kind of pic where the CG looks , at times , like it belong in a 1990s television receiver movie . Plus during one major conflict scene , Zachary Quinto ’s stunt three-fold ’s human face is understandably visible , and looks nothing like Zachary Quinto .

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First - time director Aleksander Bach tries valiantly to insert some optic flair into the film , using some strange camera set - ups and seek to make Berlin and Singapore look like alien , futurist dystopias . There are a handful of canny dead reckoning compose by construction or wall with weird stuff sprouting out of them , or mist from an orchid nursery . But whenever it comes time for one of the movie ’s obligatory engagement scene , Bach ’s ocular ingenuity expire out the windowpane and suddenly he ’s a terrible tenth - propagation Wachowski clone , giving us the same throttle - fu that a billion other picture have already done better . The action mechanism scenes pretty much consist of nothing but shots you ’ve view before , except for one or two bits involving weighty machinery .

Hitman : Agent 47 is n’t quite over - the - top enough to be a straight “ so bad it ’s good ” experience . But I was n’t bored during its 85 - minute running length , and by the final stage , I was laughing pretty loud , along with most of the other audience members . There ’s something to be allege for a movie that not only asks you to turn off your brain , but in reality gives you the smell of irregular brain damage . It ’s unloosen , you know ?

So when you eventually Netflix or rent Hitman : Agent 47 , ensure to consume enough of your intoxicant of choice , and you ’ll be fine . To cite from something I pronounce in a reassessment of another movie a few year ago , this sorting of movie is the reason why there ’s a 4:20 in the morning time as well as in the afternoon .

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meet the source at[email   protected]andfollow her on Twiter @CharlieJane .

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