Welcome back to MangoBot , a fortnightly editorial about Asian futurism byTokyoMangoblogger Lisa Katayama . While Dr. Wong was place dental dam in my oral cavity , I was watch three hot women singingthe penis songin a Chinese eating place downtown . It bump last Thursday , when I discovered a gadget that can warp my brain to a blissful alternate reality . That was the day that I had to chat my own personal dystopia , which fall out to involve dentist chairs , tooth root canals , and lots and lots of hellacious oral drilling . Though I get an inevitable trip to this dystopia , I miraculously evaded doomsday by using a machine that made me forget the pain without any drugs at all .
There are very few things in the humans that I hate . Eating shrimp . Being attacked by pigeon or zombies . And work to the dental practitioner is a big one . I detest the taste perception of all that smutty chemical diddlysquat they put in your mouth . I hate the high - pitched phone of the really lean drill and the shudder thumping of the thicker one . I hate drooling . Being in a dental practitioner chair is my combining weight of Ludovico - esque torture , except I do n’t have a felonious record or a movie made about me . For twenty - nine years , I ’ve had to go at least once a year to the dentist because of confect - induced bodily cavity as a kid , and later , because I ’ve had to do all the shitty dental study I had done as a kidskin redone .
If the receptionist at Dr. Wong ’s office sense my fear , she certainly did n’t show it . “ Hello Lisa , ” she say . “ You are here today for a solution canal , post , and crown . You owe us G and grand of dollar . Your anguish sleeping room is the second chairman to your left . ” I handed her my acknowledgment card and walked in .
Dr. Wong has a paying attention office with little touches that attempt to tranquilize the human soul . He has perfumed wax light in the waiting room , raspberry hand sanitizer and lotion in his bathroom , and a soft , well-disposed smile . One time , when I drooled all over my right sleeve , he give me a warm lavender - tincture towel to put next to my bib . Another time , he gave me a pillow for my cervix after he noticed me cracking it nervously while he stuck needle in my gum tree . But all these human niceties really do n’t do much to assuage my preternatural reverence of the screaky drill . I needed something that would take me out of this world .
sooner that day , my boyfriend had equipped me with a brace ofZeiss Cinemizer glassesand an iPod . “ Take these and put them on when the drilling starts , ” he had said .
https://gizmodo.com/battlemodo-of-highest-res-video-goggles-zeiss-cinemize-5014301
I sat down in the torture chair and fished the glasses out of my messenger old bag . They had bulging grim alien eyes and a silklike blanched trunk . I slipped the buds over my ear canals , and adjusted the mass on my iPod so it was high enough to swim out everything . “ If you need me , ” I said obstreperously to Dr. Wong and his helper , “ just solicit my berm . I wo n’t here you or see you for the next two hr . practiced bye . Happy drilling . ”
The parallel universe that the Cinemizer took me to that day was not too far away - San Francisco , circa 2002 , courtesy of the skirt pic The Sweetest Thing featuring Cameron Diaz , Christina Applegate , and Selma Blair . The member songkept me so entertained that I did n’t even agnize I was being smothered in dental decametre . While his help sucked up my excessive spittle , I laughed my ass off as Cameron Diaz got blasted in the aspect with water from a glory hole . jolly soon I forgot that my mouth was propped open and that I had two people staring intently into my mouth the integral time . It did n’t matter - I was n’t really there in that dentist chair anymore . I was in a night club dance with Thomas Jane . I was watching Selma Blair have sexual urge with an elephant at piece of work .
Technology was taking my worst experience and transforming into pure pleasure . I could have been asterisk at these blinding lights the whole time , but I hardly noticed them . The Cinemizer made me feel like a bionic man in a flick dramatics , not a torturee . I was in a parallel universe that had nothing to do with the reality of getting a major dental procedure done . The alien glass took me off from my dystopia and into a fantasy world where good girl friends partied all night and chased guy rope and walk around township in their underclothing . Meanwhile , Dr. Wong was left to his own equipment to exercise on my root canal .
At the end of the movie , Diaz ’ character subdue her veneration of commitment and ends up dating a hottie she met at a guild . Me ? I had get over a major fear too , with the assistant of these glass . I hopped off the chair , gladly consent the Vicodin prescription the doctor gave me , and made an designation for two weeks afterward .
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